Monday 27 May 2013

Tony Pulis: From The Archives

As Tony Pulis says goodbye to Stoke City, let's take a look back at some of his key moments with the club from the EYE ON STOKE archives.

1 November 2002
Wot-ho! The news-wires have been a veritable flutter today with a story that Antonin Pulistein has been drafted in to be the new guv'nor of the boys over at Stoke City FC! Little is known of the hursute Welshman, though word is that he likes his association football to be as free-flowing as his beautiful, long flowing locks of hair! Looks like you Pottermusses will be in for a treat the next time you partake of a match over at the Britannia Stadium.

28 June 2005
It's with a heavy heart that one must report the departure of Tony Pulistein from his position as chief of playing staff at Stoke City FC. Pulistein, sporting a tidy side-parting, cream safari suit and leopard print neckerchief as he left the ground, kept a hearty stiff upper lip and waved politely to supporters as his hansom cab passed the assembled throng on his way to RAF Trentham, where those marvellous fly boys had an aerial display ready to lift his heavy heart.


14 June 2006
Rumour has it that Tony Pulis has agreed to return to Stoke City for a second spell as manager. More news to follow.

6 December 2009
A story for all you ladies out there: a naked fight between Stoke boss Tony Pulis and player James Beattie! The incident is reported to have taken place in the dressing room after yesterday's game against the Arsenal. Pulis, emerging from the shower, wearing just a skimpy, but fluffy, towel around his waste, his aged yet toned body still warm and glistening with water droplets, informed his boys that they would have to report for extra training sessions following their poor performance against the Gooners. Beattie was unhappy with this as he had a weekend-long bender planned, and let boss Pulis know in no uncertain terms. Pulis then launched himself at Beattie with a flying head-butt, the towel dropping to the floor as he did so, in a show of masculinity and leadership that the city of London will never have seen before.


14 May 2011
Stoke played like lions in today's FA Cup final, but were beaten to the trophy by the international playboys and dandies of Manchester City FC. Manager Tony Pulis, wearing his trademark fedora hat and tailored green suit, could do little from the sidelines but watch as his injury-ravaged team were marginally beaten by the millionaires up the road. Still, the lads performed well to get to the showpiece event and more finals surely await this young team in the future under Pulis's leadership!

21 May 2013
Tony Pulis has left his role as Stoke City manager for a second time, EYE ON STOKE has learnt. Buckling under pressure from johnny-come-lately fans, chairman Peter Coates and Pulis agreed to end Pulis's second spell as boss to allow the club to move in a new direction. Arriving at the Britannia Stadium in a track suit, baseball cap and cape, Pulis made his way to Coates's office, where they are reported to have openly wept into each others arms as they reached their decision. Peter Crouch is reported to be the early front-runner to take over as manager.

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