Holidaymakers Fury

Holidaymakers from Stoke have literally vented their spleens at what they described as a mis-selling of holidays by travel agents.

"We went to Club Tropicana, which is located in an unspecified Mediterranean country," Mick Transfats said. "Not only were the drinks not free, but there was also not enough fun and sunshine for everyone either. I'm fuming."

Ted's Holidays in Birches Head denies any wrongdoing. "Tish, fipsy and bullshit," said a spokewoman.

If you have a problem with a holiday, you are advised to contact a TV show such as 'This Morning'. If that doesn't work then you should contact a trade association that covers your travel agents.

Money Saving Tips

With money mad Ted Gash

Ted's Crazy Paving in Birches Head is offering to crazy pave the back of your terraced house for half price if you get the get the front done. Bargain!

Boots in Hanley is having a special offer: buy one box of condoms, get one free. I personally prefer to ride bareback (unless I'm with a hooker of course!) as I find it cheaper and more pleasurable, but if you're the sort to saddle up, then this offer is for you.

What's that? You had an accident? Guess what - it wasn't your fault! Ted's Lawyers in Birches Head will aggessively pursue legal action against anyone for very reasonable rates. Call them now and tell them who you want to sue.

Money Saving Expertise

With business and finance expert Ted Gash

Ted's Oatcakes in Birches Head are having a buy-one-get-one-free deal on pikelets this coming Tuesday. I'd stock up, buy about twenty or thirty.

It's the weekend and you want your cocaine to go that bit further. Why not cut some aspirin in with it? You can get a tub of 24 tablets for around 30 pence at Wilko's in Hanley and the buzz isn't affected too much.

Loan shark Wonga has been in the news a lot lately. Why not take advantage by taking out a loan with them via their website, blow it all on a holiday with the lads/lasses to Kavos then declare yourself bankrupt? Ted's Lawyers in Birches Head are helping to declare people bankrupt for just £10 a go throughout August.

Stoke Business Runs Surprisingly Well Despite Absence Of Managers

A company in Stoke has amazed the business world by carrying on as normal despite the absence of its managers.

Staff at Steve's Oatcakes in Birches Head had to deal with a day's work without managers after they all went out for a corporate golf day. Work continued as normal and productivity actually increased.

"I am literally gobsmacked," said business analyst Gary Balls. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Everything I've ever known is wrong. This is a real 'game changer'. Maybe the future of business is not to have managers at all."

Steve Oatcake, who owns Steve's Oatcakes, has so far refused to comment, but is reportedly happy with recent tweaks to his golf swing.