The Royal Wilkes Trail

The Royal Wilkes Trail is a hiking trail on the north rim of Knypersley reservoir, located at the very north of Stoke.

The paved trail begins in the car park at the southern end of Gracerock Road, better known as one of Knypersley's main dogging sites.

Knypersley Reservoir's northern shore

From the car park, the trail heads south west, along the reservoir, with signs describing the local flora and fauna, such as nettles and bulldogs. Viewpoints along the trail include The Whores Bath (a small pond), The Gay Window (a natural arch with flowers on it) and Bollock Pass (a path between two rocks).

Popular with tourists, the trail is around a mile in length, or about 894 Jonathan Wilkeses laid out in a line. Around 15 dead bodies were found dismembered along the route this morning, averaging about one every 107 metres. Police are not yet treating the deaths as suspicious, although this is subject to change according to the new Staffordshire Police terms and conditions announced yesterday.

Africans Search for the "Source of the Trent"

A party of explorers from North Africa has set out on a journey to Stoke to search for the fabled source of the River Trent.

Known as the "cradle of Stoke's civilisation", many expeditions from all over the world have tried and failed to find the river's source, thought to be near to Knypersley, in northern Stoke.

"We've studied the local myths and legends, and we think it is located near to Knypersley reservoir," says expedition leader Kolo Turtles. "We will bring much provisions and use local slaves on the quest. We will present gifts to local tribe leaders to get approval and help."

Stoke City Council will support the quest by presenting local women to the African men for their entertainment.