"Butcher of Bentilee" Aims For The Top

In an exclusive interview with Stoke City fanzine The Oatcake, the serial killer known as "The Butcher of Bentilee" has said he is aiming to be Stoke's number one mass murderer.

"The Stoke Strangler may be getting the headlines right now but I feel like I am technically better," the Butcher said. "It's gonna take lots of hard work on my part but I think I've got the chops to make it big."

Actual serial killer not pictured

Whereas the Stoke Strangler likes to remain mysterious, the Butcher connects with his fans and potential victims via his Twitter feed @BentileeButcher. "In today's world, it's important to have a forum where you can connect with your fans," says the Butcher. "I have lots of banter on there and if someone sends me abuse I'll jokingly tweet that I'm gonna get them next!" he laughs.

As a lifelong Stoke City fan, the Butcher is also hoping to set a new national record. "I'd like to kill a fan of every Premier League team in the same season," he explains. "I've already done four teams this season and we've got ManYoo today, which is the big one as far as I'm concerned. That said, I'll never tire of killing Scamps [Port Vale] fans, they're my bread and butter."

Stoke Strangler Kills Trentham Torturer

The lifeless corpse of the serial killer known as the "Trentham Torturer" has been discovered by Bunters [badger hunters] this morning, along with a note from the "Stoke Strangler" claiming responsibility for the murder.

"I done this murder," wrote the strangler. "Cus I am the best. The Trentham Torturer was a big nonce."

Terry Butkins, the Trentham Torturer

The identity of the Trentham Torturer has been revealed by police to be 53-year-old Terry Butkins, a hot dog vendor popular with tourists at Trentham Monkey Park, where he worked.

Mr Butkins was a major player on the local go karting scene and was an enthusistiac collector of hammers. His collection will be auctioned for charity.

Trentham Torturer: I’m Better Than Stoke Strangler

One of Stoke's most prolific and respected serial killers, the Trentham Torturer, has today fired a broadside at the newest kid on the block, the Stoke Strangler.

"He's just a noob," says the Trentham Torturer. "He's little more than a chancer. Anyone could go up to a bunch of annoying youngsters and kill them with their bare hands, I know there are times when we've all wanted to do things like that. But it's too easy, there's no artistry, no magic."

Current golden boy the Stoke Strangler has already notched up an impressive 9 known kills, including 6 in one go last week when he took out an entire street dance crew in one attack. However, he’s still some way behind "Trenty", who currently has 21 known victims.

"My kills are works of art," explained Trenty, when special guest on the 'Signal Gold Serial Killer Breakfast Show' on Sunday morning. "They're carefully planned down to the smallest detail and executed to perfection. The Stoke Strangler is little more than an uneducated savage."

Stoke Strangler Strikes Again!

Stoke's cheekiest serial killer, the "Stoke strangler", struck again last night, killing  a street dance crew as they performed for their own amusement in a back alley in Longton to the beats of 'urban' music.

"We don't know whether he planned this this or whether it was a crime of opportunity," says PC Barry Shanks of Staffordshire Police. "Either way, this leaves us with a shit ton of paperwork. We're not happy."

Could these be the Stoke Strangler's next victims? Please?

Not everyone is displeased with the Stoke strangler's killing spree. Local woman Sharon Hammers has set up a Facebook page called "The Stoke Strangler is a Legend".

"He's fighting against 'the man' and stuff," explains Sharon. "And I hope he keeps on going cleaning up our filthy streets. We've got 27,000 'likes' already on Facebook and the number is growing."