Crouchy's Autobiography To Be Preserved Forever

The Stoke Book Registry has announced that its 2017 selection is Peter Crouch's autobiography, 'Walking Tall: My Story'.

Every year, one important work of literature is selected to be preserved forever in the Library of Stoke.

"This is a massive honour for Crouchy," commented Stoke City season ticket holder Doris Ahmed, 105. "But well deserved. The book is a masterpiece, a journey into greatness, a tour de force of humanity AND humility, an experience so vivid one will feel like they are walking in Crouchy's shoes and seeing the world through his eyes."

The book follows the 2016 selection, 'A La Recherche du Temps Perdu' by Marcel Proust, and 2015's 'The Trial' by Franz Kafka.

Stokies Shun eBooks

The buying of ebooks has yet to take off in Stoke, according to a report published by Munton Oatcakes in today's Evening Sentinel newspaper. Less than 1% of books bought by Stokies are done so digitally, compared to a national average of 10%.

Could this mean that Stokies prefer the feel of a paperback? Or could there be another reason?

"There's only about ten people we could find in Stoke who ever buy books, and nine of them don't have a computer," explains Munton Oatcakes CEO Dave Munton. "The one loser we found who has downloaded an ebook said they tried it once but it didn't take."

"How do I get porn on here?"

Could the recent success of badly-written erotic novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey' come to Stoke and revive flagging book sales?

"I don't think so," says Dave Munton. "Stokies like their filth more straightforward and more visual; we don't care for things like 'storylines' or 'character development'. That's why Richard Desmond publications dominate the local market."

Some publishing giants are confident that ebook growth will come to Stoke in time, but for now, the paperback and the tabloid have the advantage.