City To Honour The Power

Stoke City Council has confirmed plans to honour darts champion Phil "The Power" Taylor by handing out darts to children and placing dart boards around the city.

"Short of building a statue of the great man, this is as good as it gets," says city councillor Jinky Watkins. "We hope to raise the next generation of champions too."

Enclosed with the darts will be a note asking children not to use them for tom-foolery, crime or stabbing.

2012 Review: December

December means only one thing for Stokies: Christmas! And increased binge drinking. Unfortunately, Christmas was cancelled in the city this year as the City Council had left the pagan celebration off its official calendar for the year, and due to the city's constitution, was unable to add it after the year had begun.

Stokies reacted badly to this by rioting for over two weeks, only stopping for the start of the PDC Darts World Championship, which features several Stokies.

The year ended in terrifying manner for Stokies when a bus containing serial killers and paedophiles was hijacked and the deviants went on the rampage, killing and molesting as they went. They are still on the run.

Ted Hankey, Wherefore Art Thou?

"Capello's gone. Didnt see that coming." These are the poignant last known words of Ted Hankey, given to the world on 08 February via his Twitter feed @tedhankey.

But little has been heard of "our Ted" since, and Stokies are worried.

"Come back Ted, we will always love you," appeals darts fangirl Doris Ahmed. "You can always 'count' on my support, ha! You see what I did there?"

"I'm a proud 'Ted-Head'," says supporter Dave Murray. "And I'm getting worried. He isn't normally away for long unless he's gone on a bender, and this would be the mother of all benders. Though, if anyone could do it, it'd be our Ted."

Ted joined the PDC darts organisation earlier this year from the rival BDO, a move seen by some darts fans as being equivalent to a member of "The Crips" joining "The Bloods".

@tedhankey

Now that I've joined Twitter, who is the first person I've decided to follow?

Anyone who lives in Stoke, or who likes darts, will tell you that Ted Hankey is a king amongst men. Two time BDO world champion, and a big hit with the ladies, Ted is the kind of man that men want to be, and women want to be with.

You can now get a lot closer to Ted by following him on Twitter, like I am. Follow him now at:

http://twitter.com/tedhankey

If you can't be bothered to go there, or your work computer has blocked Twitter, then here is a selection of Ted's tweets:

"Capello's gone. Didnt see that coming"

"All that she wants is another baby...."

"Merry Christmas kids. Sank a bhuna and a kingfisher"

"16 pints down pub. Wanks out the question...."

"pumping out a bit of tiesto with afternoon practice. tidy."

Ted currently has 7,875 followers. Let's bump that number up!

Stoke Are World Champions!

Stoke England have won the 2012 World Cup of Darts! Stokies Phil Taylor and Adrian Lewis beat Australia in Hamburg to lift the cup.

L-R: Phil Taylor and Adrian Lewis

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/darts/16841012

Local darts fan and racist Tom Freud was overjoyed with the result. "It's not the first time we've gone over to Germany and won when it matters, is it," he laughs. "And beating the filthy Aussies in the final makes it even sweeter."