Staffordshire Police have warned Stoke's criminal community: don't mess with us, we've got truncheons!
Speaking at a charity dinner at a hotel located in the thieves' quarter in Hanley, PC Barry Shanks laid down the law.
"We don't mind crims going after plebs," he roared. "But come after us, and we'll beat the shit out of them."
Criminal union spokesman Herv "The Perv" Jones was disappointed with the comments. "Police do little more than come after our members," he said. "They need to stop harassing us and do something else. I don't care what. Save some cats from trees or something."
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