April
Stoke’s tallest building has had its alcohol licence revoked and was torn down. The 30,000 foot high building, known as "The Standing Up Oatcake", was constructed at a cost to the taxpayer of £3 billion and was intended to be Hanley's new job centre. Despite the building being destroyed, owners FadCo still plan to appeal the revocation of the alcohol licence.
May
Stokie Benny Evangelista was shocked to discover that his penis had been banned by the EU for being "too bendy". A complaint was registered by his ex-wife Jenny following their divorce and upheld after picture evidence was presented. Facing a choice between having the offending member cut off or leaving the EU, Mr Evangelista decided to move to Thailand where he became a pimp to local hookers.
June
Local secretary Kerry Harrison became a laughing stock in the city after an epic misspelling in an e-mail to her boss, UKIP city councillor Terry Catnip."I don't know what all the fuzz is about," she wrote in reference to Matt Smith's announcement he will be leaving 'Doctor Who'. The e-mail went viral and ended in the suicide of the bubbly blonde. "Bullying is not big and not clever," said Cllr Catnip, who had accidentally forwarded the e-mail to the whole of the civil service in Britain having added "read what the fuckwit has put now".
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