January
Hurricane Terry laid waste to much of Stoke to ruin the New Year celebrations for the 47,000 revellers killed as the storm hit Stoke just past midnight as people were still singing 'Auld Lang Syne'. Rumours that Jonathan Wilkes had died during the celebrations lead to an outpouring of grief not seen in the city since Wayne Biggins announced his retirement from football.
February
Tory councillor Ken Carp took advantage of the fact that he was the only councillor who managed to get to City Hall during the massive snow storms that crippled much of the city in early February by passing a series of laws for his own benefit. These included a city-wide 5pm curfew for people under the age of 35, the abolition of cats, the introduction of hovercraft lanes (to replace cycle lanes) and the banning of books he didn't like. Books that were banned included the Little Miss series ("the Mr Men's retarded, boring sisters"), 'Bonjour Tristesse' by Francoise Sagan ("too French") and all Dan Brown books ("they're shit").
March
Stoke City Council announced plans to build an underwater tunnel direct from Stoke to Kavos. "Most people from Stoke now holiday to Kavos," explained Michelle Barold, city councillor for holidays. "With this tunnel, we can expect people from Kavos to come holiday in Stoke too." The tunnel will cost £30 billion to build and will be funded through city council cutbacks.
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