Monty Deschanel Exclusive

Here is an exclusive extract from the forthcoming autobiography of EYE ON STOKE owner, editor, CEO, chairman and creative director Monty Deschanel.

One thing that’s always puzzled me about life in England is the obsession with uniforms. Sure, I can understand a man wanting to see a sexy woman dressed as a cheap hooker or a French maid. For me though, being part French, the French maid's outfit is like a busman's holiday. I'm so used to seeing actual French maids dressed like that doing my housework that I don’t find it in the slightest bit erotic. It just makes me think of dusting trophies.

This obsession extends to all walks of life here, whether it's the corrupt politician in his suit and tie, the pervy vicar in his tight black outfit or the crazy paver in his boiler suit. That's all well and good for grown ups but I say: teachers, leave them kids alone. Making children wear uniforms is a form of oppression designed to drill individuality out of them. I know all about oppression as I've lived under several dictatorships, of both the military and political type, and they use the same reasoning and justification.

Of course, this justification for this is always anecdotal, and never based on any actual studies or evidence. There's always some rich, probably pervy old politician with shiny shoes who has never done a hard day's work in his life saying: "Well, I know I feel more professional when I wear a blazer and tie, so I think everyone else in the world should too."

I don't think children even need proper PE kits. I'm a big believer in shirts vs skins. We didn't have uniforms at schools in Chile, and many kids went to school topless regardless so it didn't take much organising. Pretty much everything in Chile ends up shirts vs skins anyway, including civil wars, whether you want it or not.

(c) Monty Deschanel 2013