"Dos Boca"

Here is another exclusive extract from Monty Deschanel's forthcoming autobiography.

The most fearsome boy at my international high school in Santiago was Carlos Flores, known as "Dos Boca", or "Two Mouth” in English. So called not because he talked a lot, or ate too much, but because he had a scar on his chin that looked like a second mouth. Kind of like a second mouth that had been stitched together and sealed up, just waiting to speak angry words again. In my opinion, Two Mouth was even crazier than Crazy Barry ("Loco Barry") the official school bully. Now that is a fight I would pay to see: Two Mouth vs Crazy Barry. I think anyone who lived in Santiago at that time would agree with me. No rules, no weapons, no clothes, just two physically intimidating but mentally unstable men brawling naked in front of a passionate Chilean crowd wanting blood.

The son of Peruvian ant miners, which should tell you everything you need to know, Two Mouth was an angry, angry child. His signature moves were tipping bins over people's heads and pissing on things. I don't think he could walk past a bin without tipping it over someone. Even if the bin was screwed down and there wasn't anyone within 2 miles, he'd make a screwdriver if necessary out of any available materials to release the bin then spend as long as it took to find someone to tip it over. He was dedicated to the cause at least. Even if you disagreed with him doing it you had to respect his perseverance at least.

As for the pissing, the excuse was always the same: "cat law". Apparently, cats piss on things of which they want to claim ownership. I've never checked if this is true. I remember the time Andrea Rojas wore a new helmet to school. Two Mouth immediately pissed on it, climbing up onto a school desk to give himself the height needed to spray the helmet. Andrea too was a subscriber to cat law and handed over the headgear.

(c) Monty Deschanel 2013