Stoke's highest Catholic, Cardinal Gary Grundies, has been forced to stand down after historic allegations of inappropriate behaviour were made against him.
The allegations, that date back to Grundies's time as a young priest, have yet to be investigated. The claims by other priests include the allegation that he once did a shit in the middle of a nun's playground, that he regularly flicked other priests' bare backsides with towels in changing rooms and that he once made a group of YTS priests play a game of "spunky biscuit".
Cardinal Grundies, who was on the panel that chooses the panel that will choose the panel that decides who the next pope will be, has decided to devote more time to his music career. He will keep his title and robes as part of his severance package.
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