Stokies have been shocked to the core by the recent revelation that horsemeat has been discovered in oatcake dishes for sale in local shops.
"I'm shocked," says oatcake fan Barry Riley. "But it won't stop me from buying the savoury treats, it's too late for that."
"I'm really happy about this," says vegetarian Gary Riley. "I hope all you meat-munching fucks out there get mad cow disease. Serves you right."
"Maybe we're more like the French than we thought," says racist thug Rachel Slink. "Next thing you know we'll be having cheese and snail oatcakes."
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