The results for the weekly Peter Crouch caption competition are in.
1st Place
"The pressure around Hutchence's neck would have felt something like this as he wanked himself off to death" - Gary Spanners, Birches Head
2nd Place
"Back off VP you fruity bastard" - Haytham Fenway, Burslem
3rd Place
"I mo fucken kill ya, ya foreign slag" - Fink Vixen, Middleport
First prize is a life size Peter Crouch doll, donated by Ted's Toys in Birches Head.
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