By Dick Mellor
I see that Masterchef host Gregg Wallace has got into trouble for smacking a guy who groped up his bird? What is the world coming to when you can't beat the shit out of someone who tried titting up your woman? I feel like punching something or someone, that's how cooking angry I am about this.
Congratulations to leathery TV talent show judge Simon Cowell on his forthcoming baby. Hopefully, this will put all those gay rumours to bed. The limp-cocked liberal media has been putting this shit out about Cowell for years to undermine one of the Conservative party's biggest supporters. Grrrr, it makes me so angry I could literally explode. Literally.
*Dick's latest essay, 'Armed Warfare For Dummies', is available now from Dick Mellor Publishing Corp.
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