Could mockney soccer star Frank Lampard be on his way to Stoke City?
Rumours are spreading all over the internet like a bad sex rash that the private school-educated midfielder has been spotted house-hunting in Etruria.
"Lampard would be a perfect fit for Stoke," says Pottermusses fan Doris Ahmed, 100. "He's used to playing the long ball style of tactics we employ and, if his past is anything to go by, he would like the loose morals of Stoke girls."
Lampard, whose contract with Chelsea expires this summer, has yet to comment on a proposed move to Stoke.
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