Power To The People!

By EYE ON STOKE's new columnist Steve Hyde, Stoke's leading left-wing radical free thinker.

Women are one of the most oppressed groups of people in Stoke today. I'm not embarrassed to say that I am in touch with my feminine side and often wear women's underwear to better know what it feels like to be a woman. Girl power!

I think it's important that we support our crippled brothers and sisters out there. If I see an old fella or lass using a walking stick, I show my support by walking alongside or behind them (depending on the width of the pavement) with a pronounced limp. It makes me understand how difficult life is for them, and I think they respect me back too for highlighting their plight to passers-by.

I see that our fascist government is planning a cut on benefits and I am appalled by this. I claim benefits under several aliases and I can confirm that you don't get nearly enough money to live off. Of. I can barely afford to live in my student accommodation and I regularly have to go cap in hand to my parents to keep getting my allowance and inheritance even though I'm now 38 years old. That should tell you all you need to know about Div Cameron and Michael Go-away-ve.

Finally, an apology to some of my friends: I now realise that blacking-up recently may have been a bad idea, but I did it for all the right reasons, showing my love to all of my coloured comrades out there! I feel your pain bros and sistas.

Power to the people!