Stoke erupted into wild celebrations today when it was revealed that former British president Maggie Thatchers had finally succumbed to the rot that had engulfed her for many years.
"I thought this day would never come," said former Shelton gold miner Tarquin George Heath. "I honestly thought that she would outlive us all, like a cockroach surviving a nuclear holocaust."
Thatcher, nicknamed "the milfsnatcher", is wildly unpopular in the city for a whole host of reasons, including, but not limited to: the destruction of the local manufacturing industry, the fact that she's a stuck-up, middle class busybody, the destruction of the local mining industry, her homophobia, xenophobia, the selling off of school playing fields, etc. I could go on but you get the general idea.
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