Local housewife and busybody Rebecca Carp has vowed to punish local crims with the death penalty if she ever becomes dictator of an independent Republic of Stoke.
"I'm sick of crims ruining this city," says the embittered woman, 40. "Chopping their cocks off isn't enough for me, death will be dealt out."
Mrs Carp has no current plans to take the city by force but has not ruled out a future assault.
"I could do it if I wanted, but it's hard to find the time, having a bunch of kids an' all," says the Lionel Richie fan.
This is rubbish! Rebecca Carp
ReplyDeleteThis story was toned down for taste and decency and legal reasons.
ReplyDeleteI know Rebecca Carp personally & can confirm this story to be true. It may have been edited to make Rebecca sound a little more sympathetic than she actually is. Lyndon Jeffries
ReplyDelete