The SUC (Stoke Union of Chavs) has literally given its thumbs up to the reported deal by monstrous electronics firm Apple to buy headphone firm Beats Electronics (aka: Beats By Dr. Dre, not to be confused with Beasts By Dre, an unrelated company based in Stoke specialising in taxidermy).
"The SUC has given its seal of approval to both Apple and the Beats range, so we see this as a pretty much perfect deal," spokesman Steve Gump said. "Everyone's a winner. Apart from the American taxman of course, but we say: fuck him and fuck tha police."
The Stoke Pretentious Society is unmoved by the deal. "Meh," spokesman Barnaby Pardew said. "They're both companies that sell overpriced tat to idiots. We've got more important things to worry about."
The deal will make Dr. Dre the richest person in hip hop, though a former member of staff at Singlepoint (part of the Phones4U group before its takeover by Vodaphone) claims that John Caudwell wants to release a rap album, which would see him be the richest.
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