Sunday, 23 September 2012

Footy

Chelski 1-0 Stoke City
Failed husband Ashley Cole gave cockney urchins Chelski and their bandwagon-jumping fans an undeserved win against the Pottermusses. White trash Chelski captain John Terry (http://www.joe.ie/football/football-features/rap-sheet-the-crimes-and-misdemeanours-of-john-terry-0017160-1) only came onto the pitch in the 88th minute but celebrated at the end like he won the match single-handed. Bollocks.

Port Vale 0-2 Gillingham
The Scamps lost their top-of-the-table clash against Gillingham, much to the annoyance of manager Micky Adams, who went into his office after the game and wouldn't come out again until all the players got him ice cream and told him they love him. Gills chairman Paul Scally once settled out of court a claim made by current Stoke manager Tony Pulis over unpaid bonuses and his wife has been convicted of cocaine possession.

Fegg Hayes Pirates 17-0 Kidsgrove New Guinea
The Pirates moved from bottom to top of the Crazy Frog League after a tough victory against The Pigmies, whose tactical decision to play with an extra striker and no goalkeeper backfired. Pirates manager Keith Gobbler put the win down to steroids.

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