Tuesday 11 September 2012

25% Of Stokies Now Use Mobility Scooters, Says Report

A new report published by trade rag Mobility UK says that a quarter of Stokies use mobility scooters on a daily basis, a 1,689% rise on this time last century.

"I'm not saying Stokies are lazy," laughs editor of Mobility UK Timmy Tucker, "But most of 'em would rather dump in their own pants rather than go to the shitter! Joking aside, this is tremendous news for the industry."


Not everyone agrees with the study. City councillor Jinky Watkins says it's all tish and fipsy. "This report is quite literally tish and fipsy. I only use a mobility scooter for recreational purposes, and I think most Stokies are the same. Maybe 25% of Stokies own one, but they don't use them daily, they're more of a weekend gig."

"I like it when you see people driving them about in the rain and they've got a tent thing on it," adds pickpocket Sam Kleberson. "Especially when they're smoking inside. That's funny."

1 comment:

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