350th Anniversary Of The Great Fire Of Longton

Today marks the 350th anniversary of the Great Fire of Longton, Britain's first and arguably still best great fire. As is tradition, Longton's mayor, Ted Bacon, will dress as a flame and run through the city streets.

The fire swept through Longton over five days in 1662. It is believed to have been started by faulty wiring in a pie shop on Baths Road. The fire then spread rapidly across Longton, destroying most of the citadel in the process, around 90% of all buildings in total, including 100% of all of Longton's Turkish baths and opium dens.

Fortunately, the fire did not spread to Longton Castle (home of King Kevin II) or the neighbouring ruling district of Goms Mill, then home to Longton's parliament building, "The Dagger".

False rumours spread around Longton's inhabitants (ironically, like wild fire) that snooty foreigners from nearby Trentham had been seen lighting fires with their cigars and top hats. This lead to many Longtonians forming angry mobs and attacking Trentham and its inhabitants in revenge.

In total, seven deaths were recorded. The figure is thought to be so low because so many people from the city were fighting in Trentham at the time, saving their lives from the fire. The Great Fire is also believed to have eradicated a recent plague of Chlamydia that had broken out in the city.