Still Nothing Happening, Local Newspaper Staff Given Afternoon Off

Locals are mystified as nothing continues to happen in Stoke. Lord Hankey of Bentilee says Stoke is usually a busy metropolis. "Stoke is known in Britain as the 'city that never sleeps', but apparently Stoke has decided to take a nap. Life here isn't usually this boring. Fact."

Instead of news, here's a picture of a puppy dog on a chair.

That is all.