Voters in Cobridge could become the first in the country to be polled on quitting the European Union. A national pressure group ['Fuck the EU'] has shortlisted the constituency as part of its plans to stage a series of referendums on Britain's membership of the EU.
If Cobridge is picked to host the first vote, the group will open a town centre shop as a campaign headquarters, employing upto 2 local people as part-time cleaners.
Ian McKenzie, Fuck the EU's communications director, said: "The last time Britain had a referendum on whether we should stay in the Common Market was in 1975, since when it has changed beyond recognition from an economic to a political union, doing little more than giving us straight bananas and letting rapists walk the streets. In the EU, a paedo has more rights than me."
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| A straight banana |
Derek Hatefield, BNP councillor for Cobridge, said: "I think local people would be in favour of a referendum and I think they would vote to come out of the EU. People have just about had enough. We are sick of human rights and straight bananas."
Stoke independent councillor Mick Akira is opposed to the vote. "This could really fuck Stoke's attempts at independence right up the arse," he said. "Stoke needs the EU if it is ever going to gain independence from Britain, mainly for the grants they would give us. Quitting the EU is handing down a life sentence for us to be stuck as part of the UK forever."
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