Local Sunday League footballer Phil Burgess has been stripped of the captaincy of pub team Bulls Head Wanderers after claims that he has not racially abused any opposition players. The allegation came to light after a heated match against local rivals Queens Head Rovers, when opposition player Derek Bangura said that Burgess had been the only Wanderers player who hadn't said anything racist to him.
"Phil is still available for selection," said Wanderers manager Steve Kemp, speaking at the Bulls Head bar while pulling a moonie at some women. "But he will not be captain again until I have investigated the matter."
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"I'm disappointed in Phil," said team-mate Mike Reid. "It's made me rethink how I see him, it's like he doesn't even like pub league football with this kind of behaviour. For all I know, he doesn't even beat his wife. It'd be better if he just quit now."
"Why bother playing at all if you're going to be like that?" asked fellow team-mate Paul Boggs. "It's like I don't even know who he is anymore."
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