It has been revealed that local pro league soccer team Port Vale, nicknamed "The Scamps", have asked Stoke's Council of Elders for more than £300,000 to help keep the club alive. The appeal was discussed by the elders last night during a barbecue held in their honour by local crime gangs.
It seems likely that the Scamps players will not be paid on time this month. This adds to rumours that there is also an outstanding tax bill and money owed to other companies such as shirt manufacturers, loan companies and local gentlemen's club Lapland UK for "services rendered at private parties".
Not everyone is unhappy with the news. Stoke City fan Paul Pegg is overjoyed: "I've wanted rid of the Scamps for years, they're a load of shit-eating fuckwads. Good riddance to bad rubbish."
There has been no word yet from any of Vale's celebrity fans, who include Robbie Williams, Jonathan Wilkes, Phil Taylor, Dave Munton and Dave Murray.
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