Stoke coucillor Hem Hellkiller has urged shareholders in Stoke's banks to rise up and purge their companies of corrupt executives, who he says have allowed "systemic abuse" to take root in the banking system.
Speaking to children at Sir Stanley Matthews First School in Hanley, Hellkiller says it is now clear that "the greedy fuckers at Fegg Hayes Capital", the investment bank that triggered the a recent market-rigging scandal, "should fall like an old man's bollocks."
To rapturous applause fom the children, Hellkiller described the problems in Stoke's financial sector as "a moral quagmire of almost 'Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3' proportions". He says that Stoke City Coucil is taking urgent action, including sending hate mail to "bad eggs" so they'll realise everyone hates them.
But he says shareholder power will be crucial. "Let's vote these nonces out. It will make my job a lot easier if I don't actually have to do anything myself. I'm going on holiday soon. Shareholders have a major responsibility here. I am bringing in legislation to give shareholders the ownership of bankers, so that they can beat the greedy cockmunchers at will if they get out of line."
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| "Lots of money" |
To rapturous applause fom the children, Hellkiller described the problems in Stoke's financial sector as "a moral quagmire of almost 'Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3' proportions". He says that Stoke City Coucil is taking urgent action, including sending hate mail to "bad eggs" so they'll realise everyone hates them.
But he says shareholder power will be crucial. "Let's vote these nonces out. It will make my job a lot easier if I don't actually have to do anything myself. I'm going on holiday soon. Shareholders have a major responsibility here. I am bringing in legislation to give shareholders the ownership of bankers, so that they can beat the greedy cockmunchers at will if they get out of line."
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