Sunday 22 July 2012

Stoke Won Olympics For London

Stoke was instrumental in securing the 2012 Olympic Games for London, having quietly lobbied many of the more rubbish IOC delegates, according to Stoke councillor Dwayne Gottlieb.

The success of the bid was previously put down to a number of prominent people, including Ken Livingstone, Sebastian Coe and David Beckham, and Stoke's role may come as a surprise to many.

Councillor Gottlieb told Signal Gold's Sunday Morning Hangover radio show: "It was the strangest bunch of fleshwads that Stoke has ever had to deal with, because it was about 120 of the great, the good and the pathetic," he said. "We thought that London's economy needed the help so we bribed some of the foreign lot to help get their vote."

"Thanks Stoke!"

Gottlieb's comments came as Boris Johnson, the mayor of London, toured television studios to make a fool of himself for the benefit of the nation's sense of humour.

On BBC 3's 'Snog Marry Avoid' show, Johnson said: "If you look at what David Beckham said, he thinks our city is as prepared as any city in the history of the Olympic Games and I think that's a great tribute to all of the celebrities who helped us."

Despite all evidence to the contrary, BoJo also claimed that the Games would be very good for Britain's economy. "This is a gigantic schmoozathon. I dare those who say that this will not be good for Britain's economy to come sit on my finger, then spin on it," he said

The Olympics start this Friday and run for an indeterminate amount of time until America wins.

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