Cockneys have conceded Stoke is a superior city to London, an astonishing new tourism survey reveals today. Officials responsible for selling cockney attractions to the world say visitors would be better off heading to Stoke.
Cockneys have regularly boasted that nowhere beats their restaurants, pavement cafés and tourist attractions, such as the Tower of London. But now Stoke is accepted as the more impressive city in every aspect, from its cuisine and taxis to its landmarks such as the statue of Sir Stanley Matthews and the Potteries Centre.
The survey, which graded 116 criteria ranging from road signposts to the quality of museums, found that very few people in Stoke could respond to any other European language beyond English.
Public transport in London is considered particularly poor, with tickets difficult to buy and the roads old and dirty. Furthermore, the chances of getting stabbed on any given day in London are around 50% in some areas.
City of London spokesman Jamie Dalrimple said: "The survey reflects reality. London is a shithole and there are definite improvements to make."
 |
| London, yesterday |
The survey, which graded 116 criteria ranging from road signposts to the quality of museums, found that very few people in Stoke could respond to any other European language beyond English.
Public transport in London is considered particularly poor, with tickets difficult to buy and the roads old and dirty. Furthermore, the chances of getting stabbed on any given day in London are around 50% in some areas.
City of London spokesman Jamie Dalrimple said: "The survey reflects reality. London is a shithole and there are definite improvements to make."
No comments:
Post a Comment