Monday 30 April 2012

Obligatory Titanic Story

One of Stokes wealthiest businessmen, Colin Muntford, has unveiled plans to build a replica of The Titanic, which he hopes to sail along the Trent and Mersey canal from Stoke to Preston Brook in 2016, before returning to Stoke to stay on Lake Burslem.

"Captain Smith, who James Cameron showed us to be at fault for sinking the Titanic, so it must be true, was born in Hanley, so I think it's now up to Stokies like me to make amends for what this villain did by rebuilding the ship," explained Muntford. "Titanic II will be quite literally exactly the same as the original Titanic in every possible way imaginable. But better. And no, it won't sink."

A scene from the movie 'Titanic' directed by James Cameron

Muntford said he had a "nod-and-a-wink" agreement with Richard Branson's company Virgin Trains to build the replica ship, which Branson has promised will so detailed as to be the same colour as the original, if they can get the right paint. Muntford also said he had invited Branson's private navy to escort Titanic II on its maiden voyage. He did not say how much the project would cost.

Muntford, who made his money through pyramid schemes, and is a major donor to UKIP [UK Independence Party], denies he has made any of this up to get publicity ahead of forthcoming local elections.

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