Thursday, 25 October 2012

One-Armed Black Lesbian: Clarkson Is A Twat

A one-armed black lesbian from Stoke has told Jeremy Clarkson and The Daily Mail to stop blaming her for all of their perceived ills in society.

Speaking at a press conference at a stall outside of HMV in the Potteries Centre, once the site of a performance by 1990s Gladiator "Falcon", Mary Platterday pleaded with the right wing mouthpieces to leave her alone.


"I'm sick of hearing about how I'm to blame for everything that goes wrong in 'Broken Britain'," said the mortician. "My limb deficiency and sexual preferences have nothing to do with crime, poverty, economic downturn or benefit cheats."

"Clarkson can fuck right off," she added. "That nob-eyed, bald, racist, inbred-looking cock-waiter can go eat a bag full of dicks as far as I'm concerned. And The Daily Mail is a streaky turd of a publication read by racists, wife-beaters, angry pervs and nonces."

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