Millionaire education secretary Michael Gove has finally begun to do what every "right-mined" Tory in the country has been saying for years: he's making schools go back to what they did back in his day, back when he "were a lad"!
Instead of using progressive, modern teaching ideas, Gove has gone back to 1950s teaching methods, re-introducing roman numerals, abacuses and bibles to maths classes, in favour of calculators or actual mathematics.
Instead of using progressive, modern teaching ideas, Gove has gone back to 1950s teaching methods, re-introducing roman numerals, abacuses and bibles to maths classes, in favour of calculators or actual mathematics.
Gove's new plans are to be trialled in Stoke. "Stoke’s schools are the closest we could find to what went on in the 1950s," explained Mr Gove, "So it won’t need changing a lot. In my opinion, the only maths children really need is knowing the numbers of bible verses. Everything else is just bullshit."
Local teacher Kerry Birch is unhappy with the proposals. "This just smells like the latest idea-fart from this big, ugly pompous arse," she says. "And I don't like the smell of it one bit."
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