Monday 3 November 2014

Stoke Illuminations Turned On

The annual switching on of the world famous Stoke Illuminations took place last night in Hanley in front of astonished onlookers and well wishers.

Special celebrity guest Paul Danan did the honours shouting "Light me up, motherfuckers!" as he pressed the switch.

Hanley's War Memorial

The night took a turn for the worse when the event was invaded by middle eastern terrorists, who killed random members of the public and took hostages.

Fortunately, a group of pensioners took matters into their own hands, beating up the terrorists with hammers and burning their dead bodies.

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