First Midlands has unveiled its new bus timetables and routes for the city, which will go into effect from tomorrow.
The biggest change is that all bus routes will now pass through Fegg Hayes and all bus drivers will have to wear the official new First uniform, which is a Pottermus onesie.
"We're not happy about this," bus driver union spokesman Keith Bepden said. "Aside from looking ridiculous, the uniforms are completely unsuitable for driving in. A driver shouldn't have to worry about being able to see the road or oncoming traffic through the mouth hole of a big hippo suit."
"Easy now," rival First spokesman Tengy Bapfeet replied. "This company is a symbol and representation of Stoke in public transport form, and nothing says Stoke like Pottermus. The uniforms are here to stay, we've had great feedback from customers. Fuck the drivers, the stuck up bastards."
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