If you go around to your dealer's place this weekend looking to score some "charlie", "whizz" or "fozzies", don't be surprised to find they're not home. No, it's not because the rozzers have taken them in, it's because Stoke has won the contract to be the official drugs supplier to the Glastonbury festival.
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| Live at Glastonbury, right now |
"We sell our stuff at a fraction of the price that our colleagues down in that London do," explains drug dealing union spokesman Kev Wimper. "And we're a lot less likely to stab you too."
"This shows that businesses in Stoke are robust in the face of economic struggles," says city council business tsar James Wilkes.
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