For years, Stoke City fans have sung that "Stoke are super" (to the tune of Cliff Richard's 'Devil Woman'); little did these wife-beaters, alcoholics and psychos know that it might actually be true!
It has been reported in today's national newspapers that several international super-villains are looking at locating their bases in Stoke.
"Stoke's high number of aggressive, unemployed, nutters would make ideal henchmen," says employment expert Sharon Quigler. "And with Stoke's location in the middle of the country, plenty of cheap land and property available, and mountains for sale in the northern Fegg Hayes area, Stoke could be the ideal place for any super-villain to set up base."
Only one super-villain, Dr Klondike, currently based in Monte Carlo, has so far commented on the reports. "Stoke is one of a number of locations we are looking at," he said.
Dear Sir,
ReplyDeleteI wish to bring to your attention a grave concern. It is, in fact a Newcastle under Lyme issue however I fear it may spread to the more cultured Stoke-on-Trent. Also having travelled from Chile, as you have, I’m sure travelling across one more border, into Newcastle cant hurt.
The concern revolves around the manning of CCTV by volunteers that is being proposed by Newcastle. I worry that this will be exploited by racists and ‘busy bodies’ to push their agenda on the innocent people of Newcastle. I fail to see how being a racist can be qualification enough to snoop on others and I think they will be altogether to fat to undertake such a task.
Please tell me you will research this case, for I fear without your help this big brother society will get even more imposing.
Yours worriedly
Anonymous
PS: I would like to get your opinion on which is better, Dudley or Wolverhampton?