Let me paint a picture for you. With words. Not brushes.
It is the near future. Jennifer Paige, of 'Crush' song fame, has finally made a comeback, most likely. Dave Lee Travis is in court on trial for various crimes. The judge asks the jury for their verdict. "We, the jury, find DLT guilty of all charges before him and of all the other accusations made against him in court."
The judge raises his hand to call for quiet in the courtroom, where a group of pensioners are visibly shocked by the verdict and have all fallen over. "Mr DLT, I have no choice but to sentence you to… death."
As DLT is led away, crying probably, and maybe weeing himself too, an ITV reporter speaks to camera. "The return of the death penalty is what the British people wanted, and that is exactly what they've got."
DLT is strapped into the electric chair, the metal helmet thing lowered onto his head. The executioner general checks everything is in order then steps back to the console. Prime Minister David Cameron nods to give the go ahead.
The executioner general pushes the switch upwards. After a series of sparks, the crowd gasps... as buckets of gunge rain down on the beleagured DJ. The executioner general laughs.
DLT looks up. “EDMONDS!” he shouts. The crown turns to see that the executioner general is really just Noel Edmonds in an outfit. Noel is back, the gotchas are back… the House Party is back. The crowd rejoice.
The question is: would the return of 'Noel's House Party' justify this charade at the taxpayers expense? Leave your vote in the comments below.
No comments:
Post a Comment