Stoke To Move To Decimal Time

Stoke City Council has reminded Stokies that the city will move to decimal time from tomorrow.

"Now is the time," city councillor for public disobedience Ted Tart said. "The time is now. Literally."

Under the new Stoke calendar, there will 10 hours a day, each hour boasting an impressive 100 minutes. Each minute will last 100 seconds.

Each month will contain 100 days, broken down into 10 weeks of 10 days. The 10 days of the week will now be known as Monday, Twosday, Threesday, Fourday, Fiveday, Sixday, Davejohnsonday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The weekend will be 3 days: Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

The 10 months that make up the year are to be known as Onuary, Twuly, Thirch, Fourpril, Fivember, Sixuary, Sevuary, August, Ninetember and Tentober.

Stokies are advised to change the settings on all their clocks and watches to the new system.