Disaster struck on the River Trent when a ship carrying a load of AIDS-infested monkeys crashed into Stoke College, releasing the primates and sending them onto a murderous rampage around the Cauldon campus.
After disposing of most of the students, the monkeys stopped for a wank break, at which time a SWAT team from Hanley police station swooped in to kill them with assault rifles, also taking out any remaining students, "just in case".
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