Transfer Gossip

Stoke City haven't been linked with Shaun Wright-Phillips this summer, something that soccerball fans are not happy about.

"It's become a tradition for us to be linked with the diminutive winger then not sign him," Stoke fan Gary Hammers said. "I don't know why it's not happening. He's out of contract, it would be easier than ever to link us to him, I don't know why no newspapers have made it up yet."

Former Stoke gaffer Tony Pulis, now manager of West Boing Baggies Brom, is a long term admirer of former Chelsea striker Didier Drogba, carrying a picture of the Ivorian in his wallet at all times. Drogba has been spotted in a chip shop in West Bromwich, fuelling rumours TP could finally get his man.

Port Vale are looking to shore up their canteen this summer and have been linked with an audacious move for Stanley Matthews Academy dinnerlady Phyllis Funk. "Phyllis serves an excellent mashed potato, something the Scamps are looking to bring to the club." A transfer fee of £500,000 is rumoured.