Sunday 16 February 2014

Ecstasy Sales Peak For Valentines

Sales of party drug ecstasy hit a new high on Valentine's Day, showing that Stokies love to share the love on the most romantic day of the year.

"Ecstasy is known as the 'love drug'," explains drug dealer Jambo Kitchen. "And what better way to show your love for someone than by sharing a night with them while you are both off your tits on the drug?"


Stoke's Chamber of Commerce estimate a 800% of sales increase of ecstasy compared to the previous weekend.

"This is good business news for Stoke," says business analyst Jett Baker. "People on the drug will buy more water. The drug dealers will take their profits and buy jewellery, guns and BMWs. Many people and businesses will benefit from this."

No comments:

Post a Comment