Port Vale unveiled their new kit for the forthcoming season today to a wave of outrage when it was discovered that it is just a white Fruit of the Loom t-shirt that normally retails for around £3.
The £50 shirt, that comes with a club badge you have to sew on yourself, was shown at a press conference at Vale Park to fans and journalists, and described as a "back to basics" approach.
"This shirt shows the purity of the Vale," club managing director Tony Bates-Hulse announced. "We are the only clean and honest team in this majestic city, not at all like that dirty lot up the road with their unnatural stripes and naked headbutt fights in showers."
Vale also announced that stand alone versions of the recently unleashed new club badge will retail for £99 just in case anyone had any fruity ideas about just sewing one onto another t-shirt and ripping off the club.
"This is a flipping outrage," fan Kiki Fuchs said. "I didn't vote for Brexit to get ripped off like this by my own type. This is the kind of thing you expect from that lot of scroungers from Eastern Europe, not from fellow white Brits."
Bates-Hulse added that it was too late to change now as the club had already taken delivery of two million of the shirts and it was too difficult to return them all.
