Biggins Takes Over Tumblr

Stoke City football legend Wayne Biggins has had his fair share of fan clubs and fanzines in his time, but now, he is set to conquer a whole new territory: Tumblr!

http://waynebiggins.tumblr.com

A new Tumblr page dedicated to "the original white Pele" has been set up called The Legend of Wayne Biggins, which you can access via the link above. It has proved a sensation with fans old and new and is fast becoming the go-to site for Wayne fans.

Stoke Wins Commonwealth Games Contract

Athletes from the Republic of Stoke-on-Trent may not be able to compete in the Commonwealth Games because of its declaration of independence from the UK and Commonwealth in 1974, but an entrepreneur from the city has won the contract to be the official gun supplier to the games!

"I've recently come into the possession of several pistols," Simon Gump explained. "The people I was going to sell them to have had to go away for a few years so I was at a loose end. As soon as I saw the Commonwealth Games were coming, I saw my chance."

Simon's guns will be used as starter pistols at the games, currently taking place in Glasgow in Northern England, as well as being back-up guns in the shooting events.

"I also told them I could have gotten hold of steroids for the athletes too but they weren't interested," Simon added. "I think someone else must have got that contract."

Chavs Accused Of Infiltrating Schools

Stoke City Council is under pressure to intervene after reports that extremist chav groups had infiltrated free schools in the city.

"We take accusations like this very seriously and will be asking around to get the word on the street," city councillor Jinky Watkins told reporters via satellite from his holiday home in Barbados.

It is alleged that chav groups have been going into local schools, giving assemblies where they make vague and untrue assumptions about foreigners, make students in art classes paint Burberry patterns and encourage bullying and violence against "fancy dans" and hipsters.

"They're trying to convert children to the chav lifestyle," education expert Gary Battlefield explains. "Normally this is done through internet propaganda on sites like Facebook, and we should be worried they are now targeting our kids directly. Chavs: leave our kids alone!"

Stoke To Be Fully Concrete By 2020

Stoke City Council has laid down ambitious plans for the city to be completely concreted by the year 2020.

"Concrete is the future," city councillor for the environment Max Sleazely said. "Trees and grass might have been OK when Robin Hood was roaming around Stoke but the world has moved on and so shall we. No bad can possibly come from this."

How Stoke will look in 2020.
Pigeon not to scale.

Project architect Ralph Milne explains further. "I see those movies and games of a dystopian future and I think, 'That's how I want Stoke to look'. That's my vision."

"It won't all be concrete of course," Councillor Sleazely adds. "There will be tarmac too."

Barry For The Win

Fenton Magistrates Court's registry office has released a list to show the most common names for nippers born in the city for the tax year 2013-2014. Barry is the top boys name for a fourth consecutive year while Kayleigh is the most popular name for girls for the first time in three years, knocking Kim off top perch.

Top names for boys:

Barry

Steve

Dave

Mackenzie

Terry

Top names for girls:

Kayleigh

Kim

Khloe

Beyonce

Sharon